January 21, 2011 § 3 Comments
Night before last, I experienced pain…lots of pain.
I applied Nair to my upper lip for probably the 5th time. Every other time it worked fine, but not this fatal night.
Picture this: Me on the above box. My eyes tightly squinched in pain, beads of sweat on my forehead, and a red and brightly blotched upper lip.
Maybe that’s why Nair doesn’t use un-Photoshopped people for advertising.
From my experience, I have compiled a list of helpful tips for those of you who are considering Nair for your de-hairing needs.
It is as follows:
- Once you feel burning, REMOVE THE NAIR FROM YOUR FACE! Don’t “breathe through the pain” or “tough it out”. Talking to yourself just makes things worse.
- Despite your vanity DO NOT REAPPLY if all hair isn’t removed. (Accept all the pain was for nothing, make an angry face at the bottle, and hurl the toxic stuff across the room.)
- Trust your instincts. If your skin feels like it’s going to melt off of your face, flush with cold water for 10 minutes. And by all means, be completely irresponsible and keep the water running.
- Continue to seek relief, by filling up a bowl with water and immersing your face into it. Once you realize you can not breathe, question your husband who suggested this idea in the first place.
- Multi-task and read the warning on the back of the Nair box for the first time, while grabbing a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer, and yell at your husband to “GOOGLE SOMETHING!”
- Wait in pain with the frozen vegetables on your face while considering all the remedies your husband found on one of those forums. Lotion? No. Vaseline? Nah. Nail Polish Remover? *$#% no.
- Apply Benadryl cream and scream for 1 minute and 17.3 seconds.
It really works!
For my final tip of the day: do not use Nair.
Instead call my sister-in-law, Kristin.
She is amazing at threading, and used to thread my eyebrows and upper lip all the time. She just had a baby though, so I thought I’d give her a break.
But, after the other night, I consider her maternity leave over!…if I haven’t permanently disabled my upper lip from ever growing hair again.
January 4, 2011 § Leave a comment
Most of us in the 21st century microwave on a daily basis. Except for my friend Carrie, who has 4 children and surprisingly does not have a microwave. She’s a super mom for sure.
For those of us, however, who have succumbed to the daily nuking process, here is a little tip. It is brought to us from a mama I know, named Amy. This is one of the only pics I have of us at the moment. As you can see, it’s from my wedding.
She is one of the kindest and most charming ladies I’ve ever met. I love watching her indulge in the small moments of life and be a mom. She’s given me all kinds of parenting advice without even knowing it. I’ve kept all the visuals of her patience and creativity in my mind, hoping that they’ll come back to me when I need them one day.
She also has the key to my heart in her son, Christian. I was his nanny when I lived in Atlanta. Amy would basically just let us play and visit fun places all the time. And Christian and I became the best of friends. I could just eat him up. Check out those big brown eyes.
Back to the tip: Amy taught me to wet a paper towel and place it over food before microwaving. It keeps the top of the food from becoming gross and crunchy. Allow me to demonstrate!
I give you 2 bowls! (…filled with left over mashed potatoes. They were really good too, but something must be sacrificed for the sake of this illustration!)
Bowl 1 goes in to the microwave for 2 minutes.
Don’t know if you can see, but the corner is a bit crusty. And the top feels like an old leather jacket. Not good.
Part II: A wet paper towel. Squeezed out. Over Bowl #2.
Bowl #2 in the microwave for 2 minutes and viola!
Nice and steamy and perfect consistency!
You can’t see the steam?
Whahahahaha! There’s some steam for ya.
I think I just burned myself.
And there you have it! Now you can have beautifully microwaved food in less time than it takes me to gobble down these sophisticated, triple-cooked mashed potatoes and drink my hot tea!